The Kings Head Hotel, Acton, W3

On approach, the bright alternating external rainbow illumination hints that this is going to be a gay pub, but this grand edifice is still a hotel, the bar catering for guests and public alike. There’s nothing original in here, with a herringbone parquet floor, all white colour scheme – which can be seen on the website – modern furniture, with custard coloured velour studded banquettes, some tall furniture and a modern bar array, with a mushroom-coloured front and modern frosted glass with tubular steel pot shelf. Lighting is bright, coming from downlighters or clear spherical glass hanging lanterns, but then from a TV showing a garish loop video of some hideous beach resort filmed from the air, location unknown. Décor comes in the form of trendy framed prints and somewhat incongruously, there’s a pool table. I’d like to describe the customers, but there wasn’t a single one on my mid-evening Saturday visit, when all other central Acton pubs were full. There’ no cask of course, with a half of Amstel (£2.50), served by an eccentric barman who was largely absent during my brief stay and when he did appear, had noisy conversations with himself. This isn’t a place to which I’d eagerly return, the George & Dragon being just up the road, but there’s worse locally.