The Kings Arms, Swindon

I can remember coming here with some Luton Town mates before a game against Swindon Town. This pub used to be in the GBG, as I recall, but I didn't take photos or write notes about pub visits in those days - probably 20 years or more ago. It's very smart, with the centre of the building opened out into an atrium, with a "snug" on the far side - sports on TV, and a darts board. The bar counter is on the right on entering, with three hand pubs (see photo), but at 11am I just went for a coffee (though alcohol was being served).

Official site of The Kings Arms - www.thekingsswindon.com

Official site of The Kings Arms - www.thekingsswindon.com

A large and imposing looking pub in the heart of Swindon’s Old Town, it’s quite attractive from the outside with red brickwork, white stone around the windows and even a large coat of arms. Inside though, it’s presumably been renovated at some point, and whilst not unpleasant, it all feels a little bland and corporate. It’s a good-sized pub, and although all essentially open plan, it has been divided in to several distinct areas with the use of partitioning and lower ceilings in places. Helpfully some of these even have large signs above them, such as “The Snug”, just so that you know you’re sat somewhere different. Another sign said “Kings Road SW3”, although I’m not sure what the significance of this was. Décor wise it’s all broadly similar I suppose, with sanded wooden boards on much of the floor, along with some Victorian style mosaic tiling around the bar counter, some quite elaborate cornicework on some of the ceiling, but also other areas with flaking plaster, and various shades of dark green, dark grey and dark blue paintwork, as well as some painted wood panelling in places. Various TV screens were dotted around, as well as other random bits and pieces such as a silver tray, disco style lighting units, random pop-art style pictures, piles of logs and so on. It extended some considerable way at the back, and with it’s bookshelf style wallpaper and mustard colour paintwork could perhaps have felt a little elegant, but it was so narrow as to be little more than a corridor and felt very devoid of any atmosphere. Beers on tap were both from Arkells with their 3B and Winter Warmer, whilst a third pump appeared unused. I went for the Winter Warmer which was described as a moreish and indulgent chocolate orange stout. It was absolutely vile, tasting neither of chocolate, orange or stout. In fact it had a rather acidic taste, I can’t help wondering if there was still some line cleaner in there, not that I know what that tastes like. I took it back and the young barman tried some, but he just shrugged his shoulders saying that he “didn’t like that sort of thing anyway” and didn’t know what it was supposed to taste like. Fortunately, his colleague was a bit more obliging, and whilst she didn’t offer an opinion on whether it was off or not, she was at least quite happy to swap it for something else. Fortunately, they had a quattro of ciders from Thatcher’s on – Gold, Blood Orange, Apple & Blackcurrant and Cloudy Lemon, and the first of these went down much better. Overall, rather disappointing, not least the beer of course, but just the whole feel of the place didn’t really do it for me.

Wonderful striking frontage with a resplendent coat of arms. However the interior doesn't live-up to the promise as it’s a mid-range knock-through that looks like a recent refresh via whites, blues and military green. When you get your eye in there's some nice stuff like the metro tiled supports and moulded cornices, sadly the latter are single shade and not picked out to full effect. I presume the knock-through has enclosed the old passageway to the stables, hence a void section with a modern skylight. Despite its exterior pretensions it's a pretty regular experience with the punters and staff who are at the straightforward end of the spectrum. Three pumps at the bar with 2x Arkells, 3B and Wiltshire Gold the latter of which was fine if slightly aged (NBSS 2.5). A bit more effort could really elevate this one, the Goddard at the end of the street isn't too dissimilar but makes a better fist of it. Arkells could turn this into their premier outlet if they really wanted to - but at present it's unrealised.